...my son. Yes, today he gave an award winning performance at the local swimming pool. A miraculous meltdown that I'm sure will one day be nominated for the tantrum hall of fame.
We had gone to the pool to catch up with his old school classmates. They've just started weekly swimming lessons through the school on a Monday afternoon. I thought it would be a great way for him to keep in touch with his friends and take part in a formal swimming program. We have a pool at home and Sam is confident in the water, but his technique is a little, how shall we say, unrefined. I'd cleared it with the school principal, who thought it was a great idea.
What I didn't take into account was how the swimming lessons were delivered. The two Prep classes were split into three groups depending on their ability, but it was still a relatively large number of students in each group. The swimming teacher was in the pool addressing the students as they sat on the edge of the with their feet dangling in the water. He would give instructions and then the kids had to follow them with the assistance of the school teachers/parent helpers in the pool. This teaching approach may work for typical kids, but it just doesn't work for kids like Sam. We faced the exact same issues that lead us to try home schooling - Sam needs one to one direct instruction and he learns better by doing. He struggles to focus when there are a lot of distractions.
I quickly realised my mistake so I took Sam aside and we started working together near the other childen. It worked for a little while, but then Sam got bored and wanted to explore other areas of the pool. The deep end looked fascinating and the the roped off area for adults to swim laps while the kids were having lessons was obviously far more fun to be in. It gradually went down hill from there. When it was time for us to leave Sam was just itching for a show down and what ever I said, he wanted to do the exact opposite. Boom!
Sam's 22Q impacts a great deal on his behaviour, but there are also times when he is just being plain naughty. Trying to differentiate between the two can be a challenge. You don't want to add to his stress and anxiety levels if he is genuinely not coping, but equally you don't want to let bad behaviour slide and go undisciplined. When a mix of the 22Q traits and those of a typical stubborn and defiant six year old join forces, watch out!
Thankfully events like these with Sam are few and far between and handling them is actually quite simple. Keep him safe, tune out everyone else around you, and gently, but firmly manouver him to a less public area until he has run out of steam.
Sam fell asleep on the drive home and when we got out of the car to go into the house he looked very contrite. He lost his iPad privileges until after dinner. When we spoke about what had happened, I let him know that it had made me feel very sad. I wanted him to understand how his behaviour affects other people. As he cuddled up on my lap he said he was sorry. (It really is hard to stay mad at him.) Guess we will have to wait until next week to see if he learnt his lesson.
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