Right now, in this moment I feel happy. I've just been in the pool playing with the kids and now I'm sat outside in wet togs with a cold drink just enjoying a peaceful moment. (The kids are inside watching cartoons.) Our two Border Collies, Maggie and Winston, are sprawled out on the cool concrete panting. Even they are too hot to run around today. I can hear the birds calling out to each other - lorikeets, crows, Corella's - and a slight breeze rustles the palm tree leaves nearby. I can smell Jasmine. I love the smell of Jasmine. It's a typical Queensland summer's day.
A lot has happened this year and there are times when I have felt so overwhelmed and unsure how to move forward. If I could move forward. I think there comes a point in your life, when the optimism of youth wanes and you realise that life is hard work. I mean really hard work. I think I held onto this optimism longer than some, but the last couple of years have been different and I found it more difficult to just 'roll up the shirt sleeves' and get on with it. So how do you find the energy and motivation once this happens?
You prioritise. I finally realised that I couldn't do it all, be it all. I had to work out what I valued most and what deserved my energy. What was important and what was just for show. What made me happy.
Top of the list is my family. Your family loves you warts and all and no matter what happens they will always be there for you. I also value my close friendships. The handful of people I have in my life that I can really be myself with and even though I may not see them all the time, I know they are there if I need them and they need me.
Lastly is learning acceptance. I am a product of the 80's, an era where success was measured by what you had and how much you had. "Greed is good, " said Gordon Gecko in 'Wall Street'. No, greed is not good. It doesn't make you happy, in fact it has the opposite effect. You are never happy with what you have, so you strive for bigger and better. You achieve that goal, then you are unhappy again. We have a modest sized house, two cars more than 10 years old, an above ground pool (not the biggest one), the kids have a playground, trampoline and plenty of space to run around. Our house is sorely needing maintenance and it has been more than seven years since we redecorated and inside it has that 'lived in' look that keeps reminding me it's time to do it again...but, it's a happy home. My parents were over the other day and my Dad said, "You've made this a really wonderful family place. It's great for the kids." I looked around and smiled. Yes, that's exactly what I wanted. Nothing is pristine or perfect, but it is happy and fun.
And that is how life should be. Not pristine or perfect, not the biggest or the best. It should be about accepting and valuing what you have and sharing it with people that matter. So as I sit here in my wet togs tapping away on my iPad on this beautiful summer's day...
I am happy.
